ryannorth:

It feels crazy that I have to say this, but I would pay good money for a version of Red Letter Media’s reviews that didn’t feature all those added scenes where, you know women get kidnapped and murdered.  

It’s like you sit down in front of these feature-length reviews of Star Wars and Star Trek films and you think, hey, wow!  Here is some really well-thought-out commentary on the structure and content of narratives that’s incredibly entertaining, insightful AND funny, I’m gonna share this with my mothe— oh wait, no, here’s a scene where we watch the reviewer gas a kidnapped woman to death and here’s one where a prostitute tied up in the basement begs for her life and here’s one where he shows us how he murdered his wife.

There’s some great filmic insights here, all baked together with scenes of women (it’s always women) about to be murdered that do absolutely nothing except to maybe make you laugh?  Because look that one woman is begging that her life be spared and saying she’ll do anything!  Hah hah hah that IS a good one!!

It’s so frustrating because the actual review parts verge on brilliant, and I keep thinking “oh, they’ll definitely cut out the violence towards women played for laughs in the next video” but noooooooooooope.

tl;dr: internet, what is wrong with you

(via scenicartdepository)

(via mrsdrjackson)

There’s nothing quite like reading a rather explicit Steve/Bucky fic and realizing at the end that you’ve gotStar-Spangled Man With a Plan running on a loop in your brain.

(via lezzerlee)

Jeremy Renner for Esquire magazine

(via amyamychan)

oddsboy:

ianbrooks:

The Dino-vengers by Teryll Whitlatch

Dinosaurs make anything better. It’s one of the simplest scientific facts I know, but combine them with something already as cool as spandexed superheroes and you have a fast-approaching meteor of awesome threatening to destroy us all. Good thing we have the Dino Avengers to protect us! (though I guess it didnt work out so well the last time…)

Artist: website (via: tor / themarysue)

For der creature57

I just.

EHRMAGERD.

(via mrsdrjackson)

(via sebstan-buckycap)

badshoe:

tomhardyspinky:

Tom Hardy on Blag

(via)

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT I’M IN LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

(via badshoe)

groovetastical:

This is my lizard. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

The best part is that before i’d scrolled down i was already thinking “Dis is mah gecko.”

(via drunksuperhuman)

“No,” Steve says, and presses his lips closed for emphasis - and also in self-defense.

Which appears to be a wise move. “C’mon, Steve,” Bucky wheedles, looking for all the world like he’s ready to pop a piece of the steaming pastry—<i>thing</i> into Steve’s mouth the moment it opens back up. “They’re delicious.”

“They’re not,” Steve says, shaking his head. “I can see the sogginess from here.”

“Dude, that’s half the point,” Darcy chimes in. “Hot Pockets are microwaveably delicious!”

“I can take issue with that entire sentence,” Steve replies.

“You’re missing out,” Bucky tells him. “C’mon, just a bite?” He gives Darcy a sly grin, which is slightly terrifying; Bucky and Darcy on their own are each incredibly good at getting up to trouble. Their teaming up is likely a sign of the impending apocalypse. “I used to have to force him to eat more than just beans from a can when we were growing up. If it’d been up to Steve, it would have been beans every night.”

Darcy wrinkles her nose. “Ew.”

“That’s not true,” Steve interjects hurriedly; he can practically <i>feel</i> the ground slipping out from beneath him. “I made toasted cheese sometimes.”

Bucky raises his eyebrows, smirking. “See what I mean?” he tells Darcy, popping another bite of Hot Pocket into his mouth. “A can of beans, a loaf of bread, and some cheese, and Steve Rogers was <i>set.</i>”

“You’d eat a can of beans, but you won’t even try a Hot Pocket?” Darcy asks, nose still wrinkled. “Seriously?”

“Beans are nutritious,” Steve replies, a little grumpy.

“They are the magical fruit,” Darcy replies, utterly straight-faced. Steve’s not quite sure what the joke is, but it’s clear that there’s one there. “Still, Hot Pockets have all four of your major food groups. There’s the cheese group, the empty carbs group, the trans fat group, and the grease group. I mean, the only thing better is pizza.”

“Which we don’t have,” Steve points out.

Bucky sighs. “Sadly. But hey, if you don’t want this,” he pops the last of the Hot Pocket into his mouth and grins shamelessly at Steve through the crumbs on his lips, “more for me.”

Steve shakes his head, but Darcy speaks first, clearly trying to head off an argument. “Okay! Moving on. Nutella or Sno Balls?”

“Nutella,” Steve says at the same time as Bucky says “Sno Balls.”

“Nutella it is,” Darcy pronounces. “Bucky got to pick last time.” She takes a pair of spoons, dips them into the Nutella, then hands one each to Steve and Bucky.

“Chocolate?” Bucky asks.

“And hazelnut,” Darcy answers. “It’s basically the best thing ever.” And she’s right, Steve realizes as the Nutella all but melts on his tongue. Darcy’s watching his face with a satisfied smile. “It’s really good spread on toast.”

Bucky makes a quiet noise then, and Steve looks up and realizes that he’s got an equally satisfied but slightly—no, more than slightly—predatory look on his face. “Um, Darcy?” Steve says. He recognizes that look. “Can we, uh—”

“Raincheck,” Bucky says, standing up from the table and snagging the jar of Nutella, his eyes never leaving Steve’s.

Darcy raises an eyebrow. “But we haven’t even gotten to Sno Balls yet!”

“Raincheck,” Bucky repeats. He’s about fifteen seconds away from grabbing Steve’s wrist and dragging him into the bedroom.

Darcy smirks, and Steve realizes that she’s known exactly what Bucky’s had in mind since he first popped the spoon in his mouth. “Okay, but you’re totally buying me a new jar of Nutella.”

“Deal,” Steve and Bucky say at the same time. Darcy grins and snags her bag on the way out, whistling some song that Steve is sure has something to do with sex. Not that he has much time to think about it; Bucky’s crowding into his space the moment the door closes. “Can of beans everyday, huh?” Steve asks him, only because turnabout is <i>absolutely</i> fair play.

Bucky snorts. “Don’t try to deny it, Rogers,” he says, pressing Steve against the counter, mouth ghosting across Steve’s jaw, angling towards his ear. “Why are we talking about beans when we’ve got a jar of whatever this stuff is? For that matter, why are your clothes still on?”

Steve can’t help but grin against Bucky’s skin. “You tell me.”

They’re going to owe Darcy an apology, and a new jar of Nutella. Steve finds he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

(Again for amyamychan. Title is a Jim Gaffigan quote (of course).)